Partner Support for Postpartum Difficulties is Critical
An important protective factor against Postpartum Depression and Anxiety is receiving support from the other parent. It is often difficult for partners to communicate effectively about their concerns and feelings. It can become more difficult when a new baby arrives. There are many strategies to help your partner be more supportive of postpartum depression (PPD).
Set aside time to talk. Schedule this time so that there are limited distractions. Help him understand that PPD is a real illness, and you are getting treatment for it so that your mood can improve. It is important to develop a plan to attack symptoms together rather than your partner feeling like you are a changed person.
Engage him in your recovery process. Ask him to join you at a session with your doctor in order to gain an understanding of PPD. It may be helpful for him to understand what to look for in the recovery process such as improved mood or increased energy. These observations can allow him to look for signs of recovery in order for him to maintain hope that things will get better in the family.
Communicate your needs. It is important to not think that your partner is a mind reader. We know that this is not possible yet it is amazing how we can get stuck in this pattern with our partners. It is important for you to develop a plan together regarding how to manage household duties and how to support each other emotionally. Remember to be realistic in developing your plan and develop a time-line of when you will review the plan together to make sure that it is working. It is also important to reinforce your partner when he does meet your needs. This reinforcement ensures that he knows what he is doing right, which can be a relief since PPD can often times create frustration and confusion in the relationship.
Seek out support of others. If, despite your efforts, your husband still does not understand PPD then it is important to reach out to others to seek this needed support. There are many support groups that are available to help you through this time, or therapy can be a nice way to have continued support. You may want to schedule dinner dates with friends in order to help you get a break from your baby. This time away can also be helpful in encouraging appreciation of when you are with your baby.
Nurture yourself. Many mothers stop caring for themselves when their baby arrives. Self-care is an important part of your recovery process from PPD. You may need to schedule time for yourself just to relax when it is quiet. Schedule time when you can actually enjoy a bubble bath, a book, or some other relaxing activity. This enjoyment often means having someone watch your baby for a few uninterrupted minutes. Taking care of yourself is important as your partner can not provide for all of your needs during this time. Taking care of yourself also helps your partner recognize you since it is important to find small ways to maintain your own sense of self that he can relate to.
I hope these strategies can be helpful to you. If you have questions or need more information, then please let me know.
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